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Lizardpeople Hate
Written By: Driscoll Hooker
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When in the Course of Human events, there comes a time of dire need to purify the population. There lives a plague among us; a constant, withering wart-- nay, a cancer-- which infected our core. Yes, I speak of the lizards. The lizardpeople are a lowly species, being inferior in senses, intelligence, and capabilities of a human. They are rat eaters. They hate burgers. BURGERS!! HOW DISGUSTING THAT THEY EAT RATS!! The filth of our station. The lizards are only useful like cats are: to hunt and eat rats. And that is what we must promote: demotion of all lizards from their position and reassigning them to hunt rats.