Back

Book: Robotics for Dum-Dums

Written By: Bender

Fiction
Get tossed in disposal by the Research Director, nag chemistry, "accidentally" blow up toxins, let the Slimes loose. Nag mining for diamonds so you can make two Bags of Holding to make a mini Singularity. Refuse to stop at the last three items in the previous list and accidentally kill yourself in enough stupid ways to make murder look like assisted suicide.Build some nifty robots and BIG STOMPY MECHS! Dismantle the station for more metal. Have your cyborgs that you built turn on you when the AI goes rogue. Kill a patient and blame it on your colleagues for not knowing how to perform surgery.Primarily, the Roboticist's job is to make cyborg bodies, and generally maintain activated cyborgs. Secondarily, roboticists created helpful robots like Medibots and Floorbots. A skilled set of roboticists can even build a powerful set of mech suits.Robotics is your home as a Roboticist. It contains the Exosuit Fabricators for the creation of any robotic component you require, a few cyborg recharge stations, a few mech suit recharge stations, a chest with multiple sheets of metal, Power Cell, and a coil of wire, and scattered tables with a multitool, tool boxes, a few Flash, a crowbar, a proximity sensor, more scattered power cells, and a cell charger.First, before you do anything else, run out of your office and go straight into Tech Storage. Try to dodge the cyborg who is going to be speeding past you to get into your office before you leave. Don't let him catch you, he will cost you precious seconds. Tech Storage is full of things you are going to want to use, and it is likely to be broken into by one of your most irritating rivals, assistants. These parasites are going to attempt to loot all of your supplies and then go braindead somewhere you will never find them. Stop them by getting into the storage as soon as you can. You're going to want to try to grab both batteries, the multitool, one set of wires, both flashes and the insulated gloves if you can.If you didn't get a tool belt, go harass engineering until you get one. (You start with a toolbelt). Put your tools in it and toss that toolbox. Now it's time to start building robots. The first robot you are going to want to build is a cyborg, perhaps two. Fill the Exosuit Fabricators with metal and get them working. Outside of your office by now you will have 1-2 assistants who want you to borg them. Oblige, this is what you are here to do after all. Take out their brains while you wait on the cyborg parts, and keep their access cards for yourself. Once they have been borged, it's time to make your first mech. If you have a second Roboticist, they will have hopefully gone to get you acid or order Ripley boards, if not, go do so.Build another borg. Try to keep at least 1 cyborg body on standby for the inevitable train of corpses that will be coming through your door. Now you can build the fun mechs, assuming Science has been doing their part. If not, keep busy by stealing a bucket from Hydroponics, or making tons of medical droids.Keep your metal organized, and understand how much each machine will take (and you will always need more metal). Second, glass and flashes are important for your robotics work, as are various devices, security equipment and rare minerals. Don't waste them. Third, have a plan before you start building anything huge, like a mech suit (without the circuitry, they are useless). Fourth, make sure to perform maintenance on cyborgs that come in; Nanotrasen usually doesn't load them with anything but the minimum required power cells. Fifth, tech storage is your friend. It has two flashes, two power cells, and insulated gloves. Raiding tech storage can net you an extra cyborg exosuit before having to beg cargo for a robotics assembly. For bonus points, beg the CE/RD/AI to let you into secure tech storage to get a robotics/exosuit circuitboard to control what you make in case it decides to kill everyone. Finally, ensure you have proper eye protection when you weld, or you'll become blind quickly.How to kiss people's shiny metal asses!