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The Maid

Written By: Crassius Curio

Fiction
Act IV, Scene III, continued

Lifts-Her-Tail

    Certainly not, kind sir! I am here but to clean your chambers.

Crantius Colto

    Is that all you have come here for, little one? My chambers?

Lifts-Her-Tail

    I have no idea what it is you imply, master. I am but a poor Argonian maid.

Crantius Colto

    So you are, my dumpling. And a good one at that. Such strong legs and shapely tail.

Lifts-Her-Tail

    You embarrass me, sir!

Crantius Colto

    Fear not. You are safe here with me.

Lifts-Her-Tail

    I must finish my cleaning, sir. The mistress will have my head if I do not!

Crantius Colto

    Cleaning, eh? I have something for you. Here, polish my spear.

Lifts-Her-Tail

    But it is huge! It could take me all night!

Crantius Colto

    Plenty of time, my sweet. Plenty of time.

END OF ACT IV, SCENE III



Act VII, Scene II, Continued


Lifts-Her-Tail

    My goodness, that's quite a loaf! But how ever shall it fit my oven?


Crantius Colto

    This loaf isn't ready for