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Print Job #964

Written By: Anonymous

Non-Fiction
The Golden State Warriors unironically broke the NBA regular season record with 73 wins, came back from a 3-1 deficit against the Oklahoma City Thunder, gained a 3-1 lead on the Cleveland Cavaliers in the NBA Finals, and then lost 3 games in a row and did not win the championship. Stephen Curry unironically won unanimous MVP, back to back MVPs, and exclaimed "We not goin' home!" during a game, before being blocked by LeBron James a record 7 times in one series and indeed going home. Klay Thompson unironically said in a post game interview after going up 3-1 that basketball "is a man's game" and LeBron James "got his feelings hurt", LeBron proceeded to average 36pts/12ast/10reb and won the next 3 games and the championship. Draymond Green unironically avoided suspension for kicking Steven Adams in the balls twice, then STILL continued to play dirty and finally got suspended during the most important series of his life and ultimately cost his team its once historic and now infamous season. These things all actually happened, the thoughts of this reality stay with me at all times. I go to sleep at night looking up at the stars, wondering what celestial being aligned the universe in such a way to make an event as amazing as this occur. I wake up smiling every morning knowing that the Warriors genuinely went 73-9 and choked a 3-1 lead in the Finals. That even if time is a nonlinear fourth dimension, going to back to stop it from happening will simply create another universe where it happens again. That the state of ass-blastedness emanating from the city of Oakland is eternal and infinite, it crosses countless dimensions of the multiverse and its unending torment knows no bounds. I gaze into the endless cosmic wonders around me, still in disbelief that it actually happened, but knowing that my purpose in life was to be born just in time to see LeGod get one for da land.