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Robust Clerking
by Itzhak Weissman
From the author:
I hope this short guidebook will help rookie clerks to stay alive inside their dens and reach glory, wealth, and respect of the spessmen.
* * *
Let's talk about the good clerks and the shitty clerks. What is the difference between the two?
First of all, good clerk never ever let his fucking door open! Sounds simple, but it is one of the most lifesaving habits in the clerkman's life. There is a lot of greedy scumbags lurking around you shop to snatch your best shit or even stab you in your neck with a rusty knife!
So, Keep your door SHUT!
Next, bad clerks are trading standard NT-allowed unrobust pathetic shit like teddy bears and toy glocks. They are also exchanging items not via barter, but accepting MONEY! Which is, by the way, VERY unrobust. Money has no power on the Spess Station. Wise clerks are expanding their assortment. Constantly. They exchange shit of equal price. Wise clerks are aware of the station's demand. Bad clerks often have just a few toys, while good clerk's den is filled with fucktons of useful tools, medicine, weapons and anything you gonna need.
So, Expand your assortment! Trade robust shit!
Next, shitty clerks never use advertising techniques. They didn't even have a name for their shop. It is highly unprofessional. Good clerks use newscasters, labels on their goods and doors, radio advertisements, but, MAINLY, satisfied clients. Client, who was satisfied with the deal will definetely come back again. That's the reason why good clerks often give their good clients good discounts! And a smiley greeting! Don't be afraid to offer, offerings are like little investments! (If you're offering to certain people)
So, Advertise your shop! Keep clients satisfied and loyal!
Bad clerks are often leaving their shop... Their home and their stronghold! And they didn't even care of their goods safety! Or their own safety! I know a case when the villain broke into shop, hid in the the backroom and then murdered the poor motherfucker when he came back with some bonny gooddies! Good clerk always leaves a brave greyshirt guard, if possible. It is also necessary to assemble a simple signaling system to let you know if someone entered your great shop. Place two armed proximity-sensor/remote-signaler devices and keep one igniter/remote-signaler device in your pocket or box. Set it up to work on same frequency and code. When something interrupts the sensor, you will get a spark from your device. Place one sensor in the back room, and the second one right behind your doors, on the floor (so it can track movement on your tables as well). It is also a good idea to get two bouncing radios, one in the shop, with microphone on, and the second one in your backpack, speaker on. If there's few burglars, you can hear their communication. Welding the vents can be good in case of vile monkeys attack or a rowdy AI. PAI is also a great assistant, which can guard your shop when you're out and advertise your goods.
So, Keep your shop SECURE, be aware of burglars!
Shitty clerks are afraid to take illegal goods, but, as we all know, when shit hits the fan, these gooddies are the most useful and needed. A good clerk alwas has some melee and range weapons to arm his greyshirt guards and protect his stronghold! (Don't forget to make a false wall to the maints in case everything goes to shit. Good clerk always knows what the test wire is. Good clerk alwas has a full toolbelt. Shop expanshion, you know. A pair of yellow goodness too. Very precious. Very important. If you know a good clerk, you know you can always buy a mask to hide your ugly face or even a new identity to escape villains that are after you. Or get an ol' robusto red crowbar and ask him to call his courageous greytide grunts to help you fight for your honor? Or you're just looking for a secure place to hide your most precious stuff? Or your ass? Good clerk offers a big variety of services. If you know a good clerk, you know you're out of trouble. But if you want to get into one... Clerk can also help you.
Good clerk always knows a way to the spess.
STAY ROBUST, help people and constantly improve.
Good clerks are good at breaking in, but they don't appreciate brute force. Good clerks receive more access. Command-level is good enough. Just use it wisely.
More access - more power!
Don't be rude to your clients, respect them. BE rude to burglars and everyone who is disrespecting the clerkcraft. Respect your job.
Respect your job and your clients.
Good clerk always employs confidential greytides. They can provide great help in case you get jailed or lurk around the station seeking robust goods for your glorious shop.
End of part 1.
Robust Clerking
Written By: Itzhak Weissman
Non-Fiction
From the author:
I hope this short guidebook will help rookie clerks to stay alive inside their dens and reach glory, wealth, and respect of the spessmen.
Let's talk about the good clerks and the shitty clerks. What is the difference between the two?
First of all, good clerk never ever let his fucking door open! Sounds simple, but it is one of the most lifesaving habits in the clerkman's life. There is a lot of greedy scumbags lurking around you shop to snatch your best shit or even stab you in your neck with a rusty knife!
So, Keep your door SHUT!
Next, bad clerks are trading standard NT-allowed unrobust pathetic shit like teddy bears and toy glocks. They are also exchanging items not via barter, but accepting MONEY! Which is, by the way, VERY unrobust. Money has no power on the Spess Station. Wise clerks are expanding their assortment. Constantly. They exchange shit of equal price. Wise clerks are aware of the station's demand. Bad clerks often have just a few toys, while good clerk's den is filled with fucktons of useful tools, medicine, weapons and anything you gonna need.
So, Expand your assortment! Trade robust shit!
Next, shitty clerks never use advertising techniques. They didn't even have a name for their shop. It is highly unprofessional. Good clerks use newscasters, labels on their goods and doors, radio advertisements, but, MAINLY, satisfied clients. Client, who was satisfied with the deal will definetely come back again. That's the reason why good clerks often give their good clients good discounts! And a smiley greeting! Don't be afraid to offer, offerings are like little investments! (If you're offering to certain people)
So, Advertise your shop! Keep clients satisfied and loyal!
Bad clerks are often leaving their shop... Their home and their stronghold! And they didn't even care of their goods safety! Or their own safety! I know a case when the villain broke into shop, hid in the the backroom and then murdered the poor motherfucker when he came back with some bonny gooddies! Good clerk always leaves a brave greyshirt guard, if possible. It is also necessary to assemble a simple signaling system to let you know if someone entered your great shop. Place two armed proximity-sensor/remote-signaler devices and keep one igniter/remote-signaler device in your pocket or box. Set it up to work on same frequency and code. When something interrupts the sensor, you will get a spark from your device. Place one sensor in the back room, and the second one right behind your doors, on the floor (so it can track movement on your tables as well). It is also a good idea to get two bouncing radios, one in the shop, with microphone on, and the second one in your backpack, speaker on. If there's few burglars, you can hear their communication. Welding the vents can be good in case of vile monkeys attack or a rowdy AI. PAI is also a great assistant, which can guard your shop when you're out and advertise your goods.
So, Keep your shop SECURE, be aware of burglars!
Shitty clerks are afraid to take illegal goods, but, as we all know, when shit hits the fan, these gooddies are the most useful and needed. A good clerk alwas has some melee and range weapons to arm his greyshirt guards and protect his stronghold! (Don't forget to make a false wall to the maints in case everything goes to shit. Good clerk always knows what the test wire is. Good clerk alwas has a full toolbelt. Shop expanshion, you know. A pair of yellow goodness too. Very precious. Very important. If you know a good clerk, you know you can always buy a mask to hide your ugly face or even a new identity to escape villains that are after you. Or get an ol' robusto red crowbar and ask him to call his courageous greytide grunts to help you fight for your honor? Or you're just looking for a secure place to hide your most precious stuff? Or your ass? Good clerk offers a big variety of services. If you know a good clerk, you know you're out of trouble. But if you want to get into one... Clerk can also help you.
Good clerk always knows a way to the spess.
STAY ROBUST, help people and constantly improve.
Good clerks are good at breaking in, but they don't appreciate brute force. Good clerks receive more access. Command-level is good enough. Just use it wisely.
More access - more power!
Don't be rude to your clients, respect them. BE rude to burglars and everyone who is disrespecting the clerkcraft. Respect your job.
Respect your job and your clients.
Good clerk always employs confidential greytides. They can provide great help in case you get jailed or lurk around the station seeking robust goods for your glorious shop.
End of part 1.