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Part 1, for idiots

Written By: R. Schrodinger

Non-Fiction
Part One: So you are dead Hello! Wonderful to meet you! If you are reading this, then you were particularly rubbish at life, and are now dead. Quite unfortunate for you! Fortunately, this purgatory comes with a handy dandy instruction guide to hopefully keep you from mucking everything up! Now, where to begin. First off, if it is any consolation, your death was likely extraordinarily painful, and likely fantastically humiliating. Additionally, no one you loved ever felt the same about you. Sure, they LIKED you, but only because you gave them stuff. As such, the sociopathic behavior you will have to display to thrive in your new environment will be, put mildly, justified beyond reason. Murder shall be your new raison d'etre. Well, not the murder of lovely librarians, but other people. Important people. People that, frankly, have things you want. This guide will help you along that path. Please see Part 2 where I shall describe your new environment.More importantly, I shall describe the things you have to kill, and eventually, your "Good Boy Points" or "GBP" for short.